Publication

I am of Buginese-Middle Eastern ancestry. 

My maternal forefathers were Bugis people, coming from the south-western province of Sulawesi.

Meanwhile the paternal family tree stemmed all the way from the Middle East, where similarly to other races and tribes as well, they too belong in a large web of heritage. My relatives are from an Arabic family branch named "Bajarai".

Makassar, the largest city in Sulawesi, went through trials and tribulations in their history. In 1666, the Battle of Passempe plagued the city and its people, as the Sultanate of Bonu fought the Dutch for land and for men. The Buginese had to step up in honour to defend their homes and for the right cause. Their sacrifices etched in history and they are remembered as fierce warriors. They were also seafarers. With Sulawesi being the third-largest island in Indonesia, they made their trade by water.

Sulawesi compromises of six provinces, and they share similar traditional ethos, or local wisdom. One example is "Siri Na Pacce", which serves as a guide for social convention and moral conduct. 'Siri' highlights the importance of dignity, virtue, esteem, solidarity and responsibility, while 'Pacce' gears more towards being compassionate. There are other interpretations of 'Pacce' as well, which revolves around self-sacrifice and hard work.

Meanwhile, Arabs make up bulk of the Middle East. The values they hold revolve around generosity and being courteous with one another. This instils a sense of honour and loyalty amongst the community, further creating a warm sense of hospitality amongst the society. The people give and give. They provide and look out for everyone.

Through adapting and surviving with tribal life in the sweltering hot desert, the Middle East of then and now still holds on to the importance of their ancestry, pride, loyalty and honour.

My positionality as a designer derives from my past experiences, my values and my ancestry.

Growing up, my mother has always reminded me to never trouble others, and rather we trouble ourselves. I see her live that truth up till today.

Being raised up by a teacher is never easy. She held me to high standards and instilled a sense of hard work and a never-say-die attitude. Though I may have faltered countless times from reaching the moons she wants me to grasp, I know that she still holds faith in me and my ability to succeed amongst the stars I have landed in.

As a designer, I am prepared to make sacrifices and to work hard. I aim to always be open to suggestions and feedback, to be collaborative with my peers and colleagues, to help them when they reach out or when they are in despair, to be responsible for my mistakes as much as I will take pride in my works, both in success or failure. 

My past experiences at work have also taught me that there are no two same days. Every day is different, every day has its own challenges, its own rays of sunshine, its own things to learn from.

It is similar with the dynamic design landscape we are living in currently. We may be tackling one issue today, and a new one may bombard us tomorrow. 

As designers, we have to be able to adapt to our surroundings and rise up to the challenge. We have to be able to be brave and courages in taking on the challenge with belief and confidence.

In times that we find it difficult to do so, we take a step back to breathe. To reflect. To realign our values and our positionality. To take a sip out of our cup of hot tea and to begin again, as we will get through this and we can get through anything if we put our mind to it.

From young, my parents set an expectation of me to be an exemplary figure to the family religion-wise. They sent me to kindergarten at a mosque and to private religious school thereafter. I was there for 11 years, throughout my primary and secondary education. Once I completed my GCE O Level examinations, I finally made my own decisions to find where I truly belong. I did not do quite well in school and was a mischievous student hence I did not have many choices to go for.

I  unknowingly jumped straight into the world of design. The lack of colours in the UI/UX world did not help either. Everything was new to me as I had been sheltered for so long from a lot of the things outside of religion. It was hard and painful, but I had to adapt. Besides academics, I did quite well in co-curricular activities. I managed to lead and head multiple groups and teams. Friends, team mates and other like-minded leaders helped me get through polytechnic.

Being here in SIM-RMIT still feels like a far-fetched idea I had in my head. I still feel the impostor syndrome kick in frequently. Nevertheless, I will keep trying and doing my best.

Being tasked to make a collage with magazines without any brief or guide was quite a challenge at first. What more already being fazed with the nervous atmosphere in the room filled with lecturers, graduating students and soon-to-be peers. 

I scoured through the number of magazines on the table. I take pride in the end product, having made a physical collage which I found meaning in. 

The main focal point is James Victore's "Disney Go Home", which inspired me as it was his way of standing by his morals and protesting an evil cause. Accompanying this artwork are elements of pop culture, cartoons, sports, sneakers and "work-in-progress" images of the creative industry, all beloved things which I grew up on and adore till this day, as well as the envisioning I have of my future with my peers and my colleagues.

To me, when we design or create, we need to have a meaning we hold dear to, which will give us the direction and intention. Some just do it out of passion and outbursts of creativity and that is completely fine! But when accompanied with the proper values and drive, we can invoke more discussions and opinions within the audience and aid in starting conversations.

I am learning the ropes with film photography. I am very much interested in the way film cameras work with the each specific roll, they way they have to be kept and developed under certain conditions, and the results that come out of it a few days later. I have tried and owned a few film cameras myself, both the old and the disposable, and have tried multiple different film rolls from Kodak, Fujifilm and many more. With the added advancement of technology, especially within the smartphone region, there are plenty of mobile applications in the market that allows users to achieve the film effect on their image without the added hustle.

For my self-tracking vernacular experiment, I will be trying it out with film photography, both the old, normal, analog way and the digital way using an application called "Dazz Cam" on my iPhone.

I have always had an interest in photography in general. However, I do not think I am able to say that I have an eye for it yet or if I am a professional. At times when I look back at the pictures I have developed, I do not think that I am any good to be investing on this hobby, which can get pretty costly. I end up not sharing those pieces of work and over time, losing my passion and interest for it. 

Nevertheless, I look forward to trialling with each film roll and each photograph, and conclude whether over time, the quality of my pictures, its sceneries, people or objects, appear nicer and in better quality. Will it be the same when I use "Dazz Cam", or even better? Should we stick to our analog film cameras or just use our iPhone?

Throughout my twenty-four years of living, I have had my fair share of faking it till I make it. I scraped through my secondary education and my major examinations, landing me in a diploma course I never heard of before, more so knowing anything about.

As we always have to, I adapted. Again, I scraped through every submission, assignment, some exam papers and miraculously graduated. Everything was not in vain though, I made countless memories I will remember forever, lifelong friends, valuable lessons and values I never could have gotten anywhere else, and an exponential increase in my knowledge of the arts, design, user experience and the world around us.

However, till this day and even more so just a week ago when we commenced our degree program, my impostor syndrome still has not gotten away.

I remember looking through the graduates' works at their graduation show and thinking to myself, "I can never achieve this level of work". My sub-par graphic design skills coupled with my lack of knowledge in the various softwares doubled down on that perspective.

I know I have to keep myself in check. I know I have to consciously tell myself that I am where I am supposed to be and I worked hard to get to where I am today, and that speaks of my capabilities and prowess. I will do better at that to be more confident in myself and my works. That will be my focus for this self-tracking vernacular experiment.